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completely inspired.
 
no flowers.
that might mean something
or not,
open to interpretation.
 
doing this does not work so well for me any more
typing my feelings into little boxes
it gives me this sense
sense that i am being weighed down
and typing them out does not help
beause too many people have the link
i liked my time away
pushing my feelings down a bit
it made me feel
happier
but that is wrong
expressing emotions is a good thing
i just don't know any more
i feel like i am constantly whining
complaining
my life is great
and i like it
i will just never
ever
be satisfied.
 
hurry up.
 
she is wrong.
that is scary
the person i have looked up to my whole life
is wrong
she does not trust me
she does not care
she is not listening
she doesnt believe
but i do love her
a million times a million
even if i sometimes do not show it
i do
but please
i do not understand
in my eyes
i am normal
but your expectations are different
and in that turbulent stage
i need to change
and sometimes i wish
i was not such a perfect child
because it only raises expectations for now
but the past is done
i think you need to realise that too
it is finished
unchangable
done
remember that,
because nothing comes from wishing about the past
but that does not mean there should be no memories
of course we need memories
but they are done
closed images
a photograph, a movie
published now
nothing can be done
 
i do not think this will be incomplete metamorphosis
i am more a caterpillar than a human
at least i used to be
right now, i am in my chrysalis
my very cells are dissolving themselves
and i am becoming something new
because i will never be the caterpillar i used to be
i cannot go back there
it's done
forever
memories, that's all
because growing up
means change
and of course change is scary
but it is necessary,
compulsory.
 
but if you lose yourself
your courage soon will follow
so be strong tonight
remember who you are.
 
do you understand
because you need to
please
be there
but not all the time
help me
but don't control me
sure, judge me
but don't tell me
you've been fine with keeping me oblivious
let it stay that way
i am fine.
and for once, i'm not lying.
balance
-social life
-sport
-grades
-family
-
-
-
-me
 
the list is long
and,
perfect balance is hard to achieve.
impossible, actually
i'm only fourteen
drop some expectations
because i will never be perfect
ever
i'm no barbie doll
not even close
a bee
bee is fine
get the f.uck over yourself
and stop ruining me for your stupid expectations
i will never be perfect
because i cannot be
so just give me some space
 
factors
fact is
there are too many in life
too many variables
my base number can't handle all the power
it is too much
factorise
bubbles
one step at a time
life is a blessing
i do not really care about mathematics
leave me alone
for f.ucks sake
go away
 
i need space
to be me
to become what i want
what i want
not what you want
i am my own person
so move away
and however hard you try
i will not squish myself into your mould
because i just won't fit
and i refuse to try
so don't bother
 
and i know what it is now
you are just like the rest of them
you're yellow.
but i am just not
so stop with the pressure
you wonder why i stopped talking to you?
well, this is why
leave me alone
just because you raised me
does not mean
we have much in common
i don't think you get it
give me some space
 
i heard about this sixteen year old who died in his sleep
he went to the local high school
that is a scary thought
imagine
if i went to sleep tonight and did not wake up
what would you wish you'd told me
said to me
done with me
because it could happen.
treat evey moment as if it were your last
that is not just a quote
it is a fact
because you never know what's around the corner.
tonight people will go to sleep tonight and never wake up
i hope you're one of the lucky ones who does.
 
the people around you influence you more than anything else
positivity
or
negativity
i think my people are positive
i love them for who they are
and they love me back
this is a good thing
i am happy
i really am
i guess it’s a new thing
i like it.
 
but things are unstable
of course
nothing is so easy
nothing
because life is not a walk in the park
more of a terrifying ride on a rollercoaster
most of the time i love it
but, of course
there are times when i don't
 
and then there is the confusion
when you think you're so happy
and things are going fine
and one thing
one tiny thing
or a collection of them
wrecks it
all of it
and the sky comes crashing down
or the photographs fall off my wall
things change
in a split second
especially now
my moods are unpredictable
ever shifting
and it hurts people
it hurts me.
 
i am sorry
for everything
all the sleep you've lost over me
i do not know why
i am happy
right now, i'm good
superb
excellent
fantastique
but you do not believe me
listen
leave me alone.
alone.
 
my family is a tiny bit screwed up
thing is, though
they're all fine
i'm just not included.
 
the whole place is kind of
wrong
off
odd
out of it
but it is improving
no
it is getting worse
but i am improving
i do not see it in that dark light any more
it is simply a transition place
where i will learn
learn things i will never use
learning to learn
and
if you do not permit me to leave
i will have to live with it
because that place does not define me
it will not
not ever
because
i'm never gonna give in
never gonna give it up, no
If you can't catch a wave then your'e never gonna ride it
you can't come uninvited
never gonna give in
never gonna give it up. no
you can't take me
i'm free
 
sorry
[ˈsɒrɪ]
1. (usually postpositive; often foll by for) feeling or expressing pity, sympathy, remorse, grief, or regret
 
so yeah, i change my policy on regret
i am going to let myself feel what i feel
because
thats how it is
just that
if it is negative
i will feel it
but not let it bring me down
 
not a fan of your decision, young one
hmph
cause i can pretend too.
 
and as for you my little pretties
i love all of you
so much
and i am being positive
nothing negative
ever
cause we are being happy.
 
guessing games.
 
i actually like him
i do not know why
but I do not care
he is so nice
yeah
i never actually like boys
this is so odd
i like him?
dubs,
I love him.
 
the beginning of the end starts now
on the seventeenth of this lovely november
our days are numbered
a mere fifteen
that is not alot
but things have taken a sway for the better
it only took a term and a half
only
it's going to hurt
but not that much
because this is silly
there are no goodbyes involved
never say goodbye
because goodbye means going away
and going away means forgetting
and that will not happen
never
you mean far too much
far far too much
I actually love you
because you are the most wonderful person
inside, and out
 
we are
like birds of a feather
we are
two hearts joined together
we will be
forever as one
my lover
under the sun
 
put plain and simple,
I love you
x

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http://inspirationavenue.tumblr.com/
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life is a balancing act.
i am about to fall off the tightrope
no, i am about to jump.
 
you see,
the world
it seems large
so very vast
and yet, if you think about it,
even our world is so small.
and so what does that make me?
nothing.
nothing worth thinking about
worth worrying about
worth being here
that is not a happy thought.
 
you see,
there is this girl.
she has blue eyes
pebble coloured.
but right now they are red-rimmed.
she isn't happy with things
and she needs to let them go
type them into little boxes
and let go.
 
she stares into the mirror
and she does not like what she sees
feet with wierd lumps on them
fat calves
scarred knees
and thighs that touch at the top.
her stomach has changed
it used to be so flat and perfect
she changed
her nose is too fat for her face
and there is a scar on it
big
red
blotch
she needs a haircut
but she does not want it any shorter
she is afraid of change
but the thing she hates the most
is that herbody is not changing fast enough
her boobs are too small
that girl,
she's me.
it is not a good feeling.
 
there are so many stunning people
and yet they put themselves down,
'i hate my legs'
her legs are better than mine.
'my nose is too big'
our faces are pretty similar.
'my boobs are too small'
they're bigger than mine.
 
he was so out of line
it was not at all fair to say what he said
you are already insecure about it
and yet,
he felt it fair to publish it to the world
i do not find it funny
so just shut up.
that text
i was already crying
that is why i did not want to talk to you
so thanks alot,
you made me feel even worse.
hence the red-rimmed eyes.
 
i do not sleep at night
ever
delicate thoughts float around my bedroom
and the glow-in-the dark stars make patterns
i try to sleep
but i simply toss and turn
and the harder i try
the less i do
at least i started dreaming again
but then they went away
off,
far away.
and my lack of sleep,
it does not help my moods.
i cried
i never cry.
 
there is definately something wrong
something about trust
i cannot trust him
and i am really disappointed about that
i told him so much
and yet,
i feel i cannot speak to him any more
because things spread
and i know you get social status for that sort of thing
but don't be so selfish
 
he has every right to be annoyed at me
every right to call me a dog
every right to hate me
because after everything i put him through,
i deserve it.
it's just,
i assumed he would not find out
i assumed you would not tell people
but you did
and i am paying for it
big time.
i am not regretting,
but i really wish that had not happened.
and i also wish friday had not happened.
i did not really want to
but you had me all wrapped up
and so i did
but the terrifying thing is
it was not you
i was not holding you
i was holding him
like my dream
but oh no
he is not right for me
and i don't like him.
i don't.
 
you see,
thing is,
i don't think i have ever really liked anyone
because as soon as they start liking me back
i get over them
my chest is sunburnt
 
my heart is breaking,
not because someone broke it
but more because,
i have never really let anyone in
never taken that risk with a guy.
there are plenty of girls in there,
but no boys.
odd.
 
you see,
there is this one girl
she is the most special thing
and i know she really cares for me
and i care for her in infinate amounts
and she can read me
and alot of the time,
i can read her.
but soon
everything is going to change
i am going to have to put down my favourite book
i will not be able to read her every day.
i will not be able to see her gorgeous face every day.
that is going to kill me
i really will miss you
more than you can imagine.
and yes,
i was quiet today,
and yes,
you could see it before anyone else,
and yes,
i was a teeny tiny bit upset to hear,
hear that you were not telling me things,
because perhaps i am a bit selfish,
i do not ask only for you,
i do not want to hear only for you,
i want to hear because i genuinely want to know.
and of course,
you have every right not to tell me,
but you see my dear,
i really do like to know.
 
little things tip me off at the moment
tiny things that usually would not bother me
and, of course, it is the thirteenth
so i could blame hormnes,
or lack of sleep.
but there are things going on
i just don't note them at the time
i think my subconcious must
andthen it just all pours out
through my eyes
 
i have no power
none at all
everyone can control me
except me
eight thirty is not a fair time
no
i need to do this
i need to speak to him
 
because look what happens,
it has been three days
three days
and he seems disinterested
thanks alot dad
thanks a fecking lot.
i love him
but so much more when he is being funny
and being sexual
and being him
reply
make me laugh
please,,,
please.
 
i love you
alot
and i took down my dress,,
happy loverr?
cause you make me fine
i adore you
with all my soul.
 
you were very wuiet on the bus today
it worries me
because i love you
i truly do,
but it seems like you don't believe me
i do not know why
but i do
and i think you do too.
 
my parents,
oh i remember why i stopped talking
they just get on my nerves
i am a big girl
and i can make some decisions for myself
i can eat what i want
and stay up late-ish
but i am the one who has to pay for it
so let me go
i need to grow up.
 
i would love to be closer to you
i know it is happening
i can tell
because you are truly amazing
i love you.
 
yodelling ftw (Y)
 
and i am drained
drained of blood, the cuts on my knees
drained of humour, the bad thoughts
drained of love, i feel alone
drained of inspiration, art is my drug
drained of dreams, this lack of sleep
drained of colour, black and white area
drained of space, chlostrophobia
drained of life itself.
 
release
 
crying is good for that
but i think i would rather be laughing
and have no need for a release
because in not listening to the insults,
i am only making more for myself
that might be even worse.
 
simplicity,
i miss primary school
more than one can imagine
 
if anyone has suggestions for
how to convince my parents to let me move schools,
feel free to tell me
i need help.
 
pardon me for my lack of excitement,
but i'm not entirely thrilled
~this is unrelated,
however i like it, and i will make it related somehow
because it is a pretty quote.
pardon me//he is we
 
i am liking he is we.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC1CtIBdtew&p=14DA19CCE4F6F0E3&index=8&feature=BF
but yeah,
 
i like you.
 
i have awful social skills.
i can never find things to talk about,
i am awkward around guys,
and i am intimidated by girls.
what a disaster.
 
but amongst all this negativity
there really needs to be room for some positivity
some happy thoughts
 
optimism
[op-tuh-miz-uhm]
–noun
1. a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
2. the belief that good ultimately predominates over evil in the world.
3. the belief that goodness pervades reality.
4. the doctrine that the existing world is the best of all possible worlds.
 
that is what i am aiming for.
 
because people are awful
and we have our insecurities
the world is a terrifying place to be
but i am only fourteen
there is plenty of time to be afraid
but right now,
embrace.
embrace what you have, strive for what you want
and get over what you cannot have.
because life will be better
it will get better
and even though my rollercoaster may never end
at least i will have the time of my life along the way
because
as hard as it is to believe sometimes
life is beautiful.
 
i like you.
as crazy as you are
and beat up inside, i know
you can put on a happy face
I think the most beautiful people
are the ones
who went through the toughest situations in life
but still manage to keep a smile on their face,
especially
if they have a bright personality
to go along with that smile.
and i know
as much as i stress out over it
next year will be okay in the end
it will be
i promise
and you will never let that go
ever.
 
i hate reading aloud to the class.
i stumble
i stutter
and then i choke up
but i think i hid it well
'dead is dead'
that is definately what i used to believe
but i honestly do not know anymore.
don't judge,
i don't think i believe in god
but the thought that once you die there is nothing
i don't know,
i think it kind of frightens me
we must go somewhere.
am i too young?
too young to worry about these sorts of things?
i do not think so,
because it is all so relevant
all the time
thinking
about everything
no wonder my grades are droppingever so slightly
my brain is full of more important things
questions about the universe
to me,
are much more important
than algebra.
 
i do miss primary school
but i could not go back now
i have lost so much innocence
i do not think i could even handle a co-ed school
not even two years,
and i have changed,
moulded into something completely different.
not a presbyterian lady.
i do not know what i am,
but not who i used to be,
definately not.
 
there are these people
they actually amaze me
astound me beyond belief.
you know who you are.
 
stolen food tastes ever better,,
ecpecially stolen jelly.
 
i wish i knew you
i am silly,
but i feel like i bore you
i need to know you for real
cyber space is terrifyingly imaginary.
 
and you,
i am sorry i do not pick up my phone
you are a cow
but a nice one
you are great
i just need some space.
 
katherinemary
you are beyond words
and you get a mention
because you asked for it
vainbitch, you will never be gone
because you are a part of me
i love you
with all my heart, soul, brain and ugly feet.
 
I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.
 
that is so ridiculously relevant.
please, it was only just a dream.
and i know you like to read into them
i know it is interesting
but please
perhaps, just take note
write them down
but it was only just a dream,
only just a dream.
 
what makes you different,
makes you beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8JJVljVb2M
 
and i have nothing more to say,
my mood changed again
i may come back later
if i am in another writing mood
thankyou for reading dear,
i honestly appreciate it
 
and come speak to me
whoever you are,
i will talk, i promise
 
sarah♥jayne,
over and out.

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all my sets are the same recently
oh well
this is my style i suppose
take it or leave it.
 
first and foremost
today is a day to be truly celebrated
because there is an amazing person who exists in my life
and she has made the biggest impact
i love her with all my heart
because she is so special
in every way
her blue eyes shine,
and through them you can see her wonderful soul
i love you katherine mary
have a splendid birthday,
because you deserve it
HOMEBOII.
 
~and now it begins~
 
i needed some time away
my life is a bonfire.
and if people keep throwing eucalyptus leaves in
i will explode
but if you drain my oxygen
i will die
we need midway points
i think i lost mine
and i am worried
my time away was well needed
but that little bit of contact i kept
why did it hurt me
 
my parents are getting better
or i am getting better
either way,
i still dont feel completely accepted
but that will take time
and i really am trying
but it seems every time i try
i ruin it for myself
every decision affects people
and every judgement passed could make or break someone
but in general,
things are improving
 
i love you
you call me every night
and we are so close
this must not ruin it
we took it way too far
and people think things
she was right there
and i was concious of it
why didnt i stop it earlier
because of the night before
i trusted you
i still do
but she thinks these things of us now
i love her
but i think i have earnt myself a reputation with her
and i regret that
but i am trying
i was proving a point
and i know i did it wrong
but every situation is different
and this is separate from the past, yes
of course flirting is an unspoken pleasure
it is fun
but i think what the outside world percieves as flirting
for me
is not
i like to feel loved, adored, admired.
and yet
i feel i can do that without 'flirting'
being friendly is fine
but why are things different with guys
that is not fair
in fact
it is borderline sexist
i do not really know what i am talking about
but i just like to be friendly.
 
of course i have thought about him
i adore him
and we are so close
but i think things were taken out of context
you do not hear our conversations
my own satisfaction and entertainment
and his
we are such close friends
and i really trust him
and i think he trusts me
because we do things
and tell eachother things
that i cannot do with other people
he is special
 
im a free betch baby
i think that needs some explaining
i am simply exploring
and i can officially say my hormones have probably been crazy the last six months
bad timing
but it is back now
so i assume things will settle down
my future
i am worried about it too
but the strange thing is
i do not feel old
or scared
and i do not regret what i did
because it felt right at the time
and i am trying not to regret things
regret does not get one anywhere.
so i am not
i am simply moving on
i will take note
but not regret.
it felt amazing
and that is good.
but not again,
not for a while anyway
 
i am sad that you can seem to pretend so easily
two can play that game
and yes, i am a bit upset
but not because of what you feel
but rather,
the fact that you typed it into a box
instead of saying it to my face
now that seems hipocritical
but i prefer to keep things consistent
you told him it was fine
you told me it was fine
i dont care that you think it isnt
because it isnt
i just care that you can act fine
and then i find out
by reading
i try to avoid surprising people here.
though, i do admit
i was not surprised
not really.
 
but there will be no fight out of this
because with my anti-regret campaign
comes another
i want to move on
quickly
and i hope you will too
and i hope you will be a part of my future
and i hope i have not become what i hated
i remember,
year five
all the adults warned me
and i did not listen
look what came of that
i hope i am not like her
in fact, i know i am not like her
because it does not go any firther than this.
 
and i am glad
keep me please
because i know i will be lost next year
and i do not hate you
i never will
i hate fighting too
no more of that
there is nothing wrong
so therefore nothing to forgive
i love you
 
i miss you
alot
like alot
so much has happened
and you are going to come back with so many stories
people going away is scary
but you will return sooon
i honestly cannot wait
because i love you
so, so much
ohgoshlygoshness
come home already.
 
i am scared
i think i am starting to like you
like like
this cannot happen
and you must not start taking things seriously
because you know what will happen
but they will be there
hopefully
to control me
but i cannot like him
that will anger the gods
and that is not something i want to do at the moment
because he honestly thinks i am hot
and we had a serious conversation today
i love him
this is not good
he is hilarious
and
what
the
feck
he is not that bad looking
oh no.
i do jealousy well too
that little bit of contact
i know it is nothing
but oh no
i am jealous
what is going on
she is so pretty
urgh
I
AM
JEALOUS
oh no.
 
and him
i actually do love him
it is borderline
and i hope this accident does not ruin it
and i suppose i should not have read
but still
i actually love him
so much
 
and i am so happy
i was right
we are brilliant spies
even though we really did not do anything
our mission was a success
operation BABOOSHKA
but please do not resist
it is okay,
perhaps i am over-analyzing
but this will be fine
his tone
he does
but he does not want to
like you
i think
 
i feel like you censor things when you talk to me
i do not know why
it scares me
my princess
i love you
tell me things
i think i am trustworthy
and i honestly do love you
 
why can i be truthful here
this is madness
too many people have this link now
and yet
i am okay with it
i have changed so much
i can feel it
no
i can see it
i look different
that is so cliche
but it is true
i do not see myself in the same light as i used to
because i am not the same
i like me the way i am
people will catch up
and i will stay here
and everything will be good
i like myself right now
why
because i have started listening to the comliments
and simply taking note of the insults
they dont get to me as much anymore
because every event in my life until now
has shaped me
and i am glad for every fall out
year five
this year
everything has changed
right now
i feel like i am on top of it
i will still stumble
but i am happy
 
and my psychic best friend
i really love her
and i hope she can see our future
still the same
becasue it would kill me for things to change again
i love you
 
and this has been cut short
because my parents are being a bit bitchy
but i will come back
and put more feelings into boxes
 
_____________________________
i am back
today
i dont feel the same
but i do
wow, thats confusing
 
i love him
but please please
dont let him ask me out
just no
people keep asking me
which makes me think he is planning
oh no
this is so complicated
 
i think the thing is
i havent actually found someone i like like yet
like like like
humm, i do not know
i love so many
but
eeeeeeeek
i understand people's concern
but at fourteen
i think i have every right to simply
have fun with life right now
and i will try not to hurt anyone else along the way.
 
i do not sleep any more
and even when i do
i do not dream
i lie in bed until past midnight
then slip into a dreamless unconciousness
and wake before nine
i do not know why
my mind is blank most times
i just do not sleep
i am not enjoying it either
urgh.
taste the sky
and dream in colour
oh, if only i could.
 
and there is this niggling feeing
that i am getting fat
it seems ridiculous
but ever since i stopped gymnastics
in year five
my fitness has dropped
it sucks
i still look nice in clothes
and other people probably cannot see
but i can feel it
my hips are bigger
and i dont like it
but i feel like if i stop eating
(because i feel amazing when i do)
my boobs will get even smaller
and it will go away again
but i was enjoying missing out on the cramps and annoyingness
however,
it is meant to be there
no matter how much i hate it.
 
playing cards
is good for me
a little gambling
without a risk
good family bonding
it helps
alot.
 
i like moons
they are symbolic
the day
the day i was feeling alone
it was a full moon
but
the nights i spent speaking
on the phone
to you
i would watch the full moon
its a pity we do not really speak anymore
both of you
on a camp thing
or whatever
i am so sorry
for hurting you both
because you still mean so much
call me
preferably before midnight
because
i love you
both of you

and speaking to you right now
oh, you are irritating
stop being so adorable
gosh.
 
i really miss primary school
everything was so much simpler
actually
i wish i had taken more advantage of it
i wish
guy friends actually existed
and kissing was gross
and everyone was actually equal
i miss it
i miss how things used to be.
 
i do not think you are copying me by the way
 
and your new one
i will never forgive myself for what i heard that night
ever
there
that's something i am allowing myself to regret
i am sorry.
 
i dont really think we're that different though
your transition will hopefully be slower,
easier,
less complicated than mine
but i can see a future
i am beginning to understand my psychic best friend
but i do not know if it is what i want
because our lines are not parallel
and i do not want another crazy fall
 
i dont think this is sorted yet
we do not speak at all
i do not want to
i hate her guts
HATE
how dare she
she is not ugly either
that is not fair
i hate everything about her
and i hate how she has given us a reputation
i do not want to be that
we are not intimidating
come up to us
please
 
and you
you are amazing
becasue i feel like you are a connection,
a link to the real world
but when you go
there will be nothing.
you need to go
it will be so much better for you
but i want to be selfish
i want to beg you to stay
actually no
i want to beg my parents to let me come with you
that would be so much better
we can bring all of them
because none of us belong in that hell hole.
 
hey, if you are reading this
ill come cut that hole in your jeans
and we can make beautiful indian angels
{personal joke}
i love you pumpkin.
 
more and more people are getting this link
i love you for it
but please
take no offense
no assumptions
and if you are confused,
come and speak to me
please
i am begging
 
thanks for reading
i will stay here
and make more sets soon
i will keep you updated
if you bother to read all these
i love you
i promise
ex oh ex oh ex oh ex

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7,026 set likes
84 collection likes
642 contacts
~thanks amazings.
 
fifty items
i am proud.
 
i believe things happen in circles,
because circles are pretty.
i don't know where i am in my circle
or maybe my circle is more rollercoaster shaped
i think i am at a high point
because i feel happy
or at least,
i don't care anymore.
 
but amidst the happy - ish - ness
lie some not so lovely feelings
worry, dread and fear amongst them
hatred is a strong emotion
i have discovered that.
and change is scary
but i think i am going to have to let it happen
but promise you'll stay with me
be my anchor
keep me grounded
and i will be your puppeteer
keep you up.
 
i am worried.
i am worried about multiple things.
i am worried about my princess
you are so important
and friday was scary
you really weren't yourself
and you were pumped for our outing
and then you started shaking
and did not want to go
i am scared
scared of what happens
at home
at night
you say these things
but you cannot tell me everything
i know
but i am so scared
night time
if i am awake
i wonder if you are awake,
crying
i get worried
but i will not bother you
it will only stress you more
but i really am scared
and shaking is worse than crying
and you admitted it yourself
bottleing things up makes them worse
so sroppit
you don't have to tell me
but you have to tell someone
or write it down
or something
but keeping them inside you
that is terrifying
i am glad small things make you happy
he is a good guy
so keep it
keep the good things
because if you concerntrate hard enough on them
the bad things will fade
keep the good things.
 
i am worried about me
and my ability to say no
and my ability to say yes
i need to make decisions
my maybes hurt people
i am sorry
sorry for everything
this is so new to me
and i wish there were no expectations
'i just expected you to say yes i guess'
that is a scary phrase
stop assuming
i will not hurt him
and it's not what i want anyway
i am sure of that now
because i am not good at handling judgements
i know it is not fair
but i know what i want
and i need to be strong
but it's complicated
that's for sure.
 
i am worried about you
you are awfully pushy
but i love you
in a brotherly love kind of way
and i get annoyed with you
fwb.
please type like a civilised human being
gosh.
honestly, i don't know if you are a good person
because you are so bitc.hy sometimes
but you are so amazingly nice sometimes too
and right now, we are good
you apologise way too much
haha, babe.
 
and so we move on
dread.
i think if this is intended for you,
you know what i mean
one word
dread
because it will be so different
and lonely
and it will feel temporary at first
and then it will hit me
you will be gone
and you will dance like anatsasia
every day
and i will miss you
and your jumper
that smells different in different places
because far out brussel sprout
i know what happens,
i've seen it
high school is different
you said it yourself
you go through alot more
and the people who are there with you every step of the way
know you the best
and
that won't be me
that is a terrifying thought
even a week away
that seemed like ages
imagine forever
and imagine
i can't
my life has changed
and your puzzle pieces fit into mine
and gradually
the puzzle gets older
and then some pieces are lost
i promise to try
to be the grandchild who gets the puzzle down from the attic
and plays with it
often
because that is how much you mean to me
the world
no, the universe
no, not even that is large enough
i love you
 
fear. /fɪə/
-noun
an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
 
the world is a dangerous place.
i am scared of it
there are scary people
scary places
and there is me
we stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside of us.
that is pure genius right there
so true
there is a monster inside of me
it is fear
because my fear hurts people
indecision
and hesitation
they hurt people
they come from fear
i fear fear.
 
i love our sexual conversations
you make me so much happier
too bad you are away
too bad.
i love you
 
i love our phone conversations
too bad you don't call anymore
too bad.
i love you
 
i love our touchiness
too bad you won't leave it there
too bad.
i love you
 
i love our plans
too bad they've been foiled
too bad.
i love you
 
i love our connection
too bad you don't think our personalities fit
too bad.
i love you
 
i love our complimentary conversations
too bad you're half way across the world
too bad.
i love you
 
i love our bus trips
too bad we don't do it every day
too bad.
i love you
 
i love our latin countdowns
too bad they don't go faster
too bad.
i love you
 
i love our hugs
too bad people think we're bi
too bad.
i love you
 
i love everything about you
too bad you are moving
too bad.
i love you
 
dear mum and dad,
make up your mind
are you going to be cool and let me do shi.t?
or are you going to be tight and overprotective?
make up your mind.
 
rainbows and stars and jellyfish.
jellyfish are actually beautiful creatures
i saw a documentary on them last night
new favourite animal i think
SMILEYFACE.
 
there is still that thing i cannot quite put my finger on
i do not know who or what it is
or how it got there
but it is there
as dark as darkness
 

my abdominals ache
and my back burns
my calves call
and my dimples dilate
my ears explode
and my fingers fumble
my guts grope
and my heart hammers
my intestines are intersting
and my jaw jiggles
my knee is knobbly
and my lungs lurch
my mustache makes mice
and my neck nips
my ovary is in overdrive ;)
and my pelvis is in pain
my quads are quaking
and my ribs are ripped
my spine spasms
and my tongue is ticklish
my undies are unbelievable
and my veins are valuable
my wrist is wierd
and my xehophile is x-rayed?
my yellow marrow is yummy
and my zygomaticus is zany
 
in general, i am a beautiful disaster
wow, i know alot of body parts.
 

i am slightly annoyed
i said you could make one
but i did not expect it to be exactly the same
we are all good
but still
exactly the same?
exactly?
that seems a bit silly,
dont you think?
i love you
but still
think about it.
 
in conclusion,
life is good
my rollercoaster is on the top of a loop - the - loop
and my circle is in a good spot.
but i can still see the ground
and i can see the rollercoaster
it does not really end
but that is okay
life is good for now
and i am happy
i love you
 
iiiaimihiaipipiyiaititihieimioimieinitibieiciaiuisieitihiiinigisifiieieieiliriiigihitibiuiticioimieitiailikitioimieipilieiaisieibieiaiuitiiifiuiliiiliiikieitioiliiisitieinitioiyioiuiainidiyieiaihiiifiyioiuiciainirieiaiditihiiisiyioiuiairieiailieigieinidiwieieieieieieieieieieieiwiwiwiwiwi:i)i
 
thanks for reading, i appreciate it
ex oh ex oh ex oh ex
sarah♥jayne

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this set is very busy
please refer to title
my head is full to the brim
and spins
and my throat hurts
and my legs ache
and i am a mess
black on my face
matted hair
things are kind of difficult
crazy week
 
saturday night
i was being a bitc.h
and my clothes were a bit inappropriate
i ned to get some that fit
i mean, yeah i looked nice
but urh
inappropriate
and i was being a bit flirty
but wrestling was fun
but i wish i hadn't told father to come early
we could have played truth or dare
but i am glad he did
because i am not good with broken things
especially expensive glass tables
stick it
i love awkwad camera angles
the strange thing is
i told you
you knew
i knew
but i was not quite sure
you didnt seem right with it
'are you sure you know him well enough?'
honestly, i don't know.
good night,
 
sunday afternoon
rehearsal
me, a bitc.h
and again, i need clothes that cover my midriff
inappropriate
but hugs feel better on bare backs
wow, inappropriate much
and people started to see
and she got very annoyed at me
it was not hers to be annoyed at though
but you had the right to tell someone
and it's okay
too bad it didn't work
and it tipped things off
i started to get warm shivers
and i knew
urgh, this can't be good
 
monday night
facebook chat
oh, we are so primary school
but something tells me you knew
otherwise you would not have had the guts to ask
or to tell
and it's wierd
i got that warm feeling again
but there was something not right
i was happy
but not deep deep happy about it
i think it all comes back to that thing
that thing that is up that i can't quite put my finger on
i am worried about these things
phone.
it was wierd
you tricked me into hanging up
sneaky little baby
haha i love you
and then my phones were going crazy
you on the landline, you on the mobile
and i actually hung up on you
an accomplishment
sad, i know
i can't usually hang up,
that is ridiculous
i feel rude,
like 'i dont want to talk to you any more, bye'
and there is some underlying, deep symbolicness behind it too
i hate to lose connections
and if i am the one to do it, then that is even worse
so i don't hang up.
but i did
that is an achievement.
 
tuesday night
dress rehearsal
they are disguisting
repulsive
baggy velvet pants
i feel so gangster
and that makeup is gross
but the hair is the worst
tight low bun
gross.
 
wednesday night
rehearsal
touchy touchy
school uniform is not attractive
but it is better than that costume
i guess it s not s bad
when everyone is wearing it
but still
gross
and i got shivers
again, my neck is rather sensetive
it feels nice
but everyone was looking at us funny
and poor him
he gets a bit jealous
i think that is why he ws being such a douch.e
but still
it is very very annoying
and on stage?
gosh
teachers are starting to notice
he looked at us strangely
ah well
i will probably never see him again
so it is okay
 
thursday night
get a room
you are a massive babe
and i seriously think differently than i did a month ago
we will so keep in contact
you are like my best guy friend
and yeah, love you
stairwell.
she was so hyper
and so she ran up
you tried
but something did not feel quite right
so i turned around
and went all red
and you saw
how embarassing
but you were hurt
and interval, he is so annoying
and in front of everyone
and he will never look at me that same way again if he saw
oh gosh
and she saw too
and now she thinks i am a slu.t
but i don't care
she is a bitc.h
and a stupid one at that
but it was kind of slu.tty
ah, oh well
it was so short it barely counts
and thank god for my little boarder
you saved me babe
and too bad you didn't see
AGAIN
oh my gosh, what is with you and the bathroom
jeez
he tried again
in the wings
i couldn't do it
'hey, not again'
you are my best friend
why are things distant?
i know i am not being ver nice
but things are happening so fast
i love you
and our plan
we need a deep and meaningful.
and she is so cute
and he is hilarious
they would have the funniest kids
caauuutteeee
oh my gosh
oreo and peanut butter
orgasm
 
friday night
car party
your mum is a legend
juice boxes
andoreo cheesecake
with peanutbutter
oh my gosh
actual heaven.
playground
flips and all things
and a text from her
little bitc.h
i wish she would say her shi.t to my face
oh god
and then performance time
it was good
i screwed it up though
missed my cue
your fault, you are distracting
and fell on him
on stage
how embarassing
under the insulation
and afterwards
you finally got to see me do something
it was nice
and he took a photo
horny little rat
we love him though
he's a babe
thank goodness he deleted it
thank goodness
and we texted all night
it was nice.
 
saturday
netball was rained out
so off to drama i went
it was a bit sad
but a bit relieved
the last day with all the people who mean so much to us
suddenly everyone was best friends
it was amazing
'sit with someone you don't normally sit with'
that was fun
what a babe
down by the waters, the waters of babylon
we lay down and wept, and wept for the ion
we remember, we remember, we remember these ions
suddenly everyone is best friends
why did you ask me that
it scares me
please dont be controlling
or jealous
we are friends
with sexual tension
bahhahaha
he squeezed my ass
they all did
awks
but why do i like it then
and getting raped
why did i like it
he is very friendly
but a bit of a perv
its okay
and relief
that is so wierd
i hope he didn't see
that is so awkward
it was long
and slightly... forceful
but nice
and we ran afterwards
haha fun times
and then 'bump out'
getting raped was fun i guess
but the mop fight, that was amazing
hahahah what a babe
i wish i'd known you the whle time
we only really spoke this week
pity, you are amazing
and i so won
and i hope the light is okay
eeek
and then you picked me up
and he came in
hahah awkward
'stay away from girls for the rest of the night'
bahaha, like that happened
that photo
she better put it on facebook
so awkwad
three on one
one up my ass, me in his face, my face on you
bahaha, that sounds so sexual
and it kind of was
ah well, i loved it
gang banged
hahahha
and then there were goodbyes
a bit sad
it was odd, knowing that we would probably never all be together again
but we will see the ones that mean alot to us
i am hoping
callum, beej, nick, seb, pat, lenny, jesus, herpes
and plenty more
everyone is so amazing
especially callum
you get a special mention
you are awesome on the phone
there is something about you that makes me tell you stuff
deep and meaningful
and you an act like a girl when i want to be all deep
and i can act like a guy when you want to be all 'she is so hot'
and yeah, i think we are just going to be amazing friends
thanyou so much for everything
you aged me
but it is a good thing
i wasfourteen before i was really fourteen
but right now, everything feels fine
you are amazing
just thankyou
 
princess katherine mary, i love you
this play has brought us so much closer together
and you are the most amazing person ever
i actually love you
you are so pretty
and you have the best personality
and you help me through all the shi.t
and i know i am not being myself
buti think i am in that stage
that crazy, changing stage
i used to be igneous
then i was eroded away to a sad old sedimentary
and now the heat and pressure kicks in
i will be metamorphic soon
but right now, things are crazy
it all happened so fast.
i am scared that we will drift next year
but we cannot do that
i would die
i feel like my heart grows a bi every time i meet someone amazing
and if i lost someone
then i would die
especially you,
because,
i love you.
 
i think i have commitment issues
i do not want to be your girlfriend
i feel like a slu.t
but i just don't
it doesnt feel right
and you are so nice to me
'i dont want to pressure you into anything you on't want to do'
you are amazing
but there i something wrong with me
i can't quite put my finger on it
and if you are reading this
and you want to know more
then come talk to me
especially you katherine mary
i am booking in a deep and meaningful slot
okay,
 
this was long
thank you so much for reading if you did
i had alot to say
andtyping my feelings into litte boxes
lifts the burden a bit
happy father's day
thanks for everything dad
i love you
 
and thank you dear reader
if you want to talk to me, do
say stuff to my face
ask me questions
i need to sort stuff out
and if you want to her
go for it
i love you
ex oh ex oh ex oh ex

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i am terrified
of you
of me
of life
 
why?
do you have a heart?
i think not.
that was beyond awful
beyond even you
it was so low
so so low
and stop saying you didnt know she was there
that is the biggest bullshi.t
you were looking around for her reaction
you are the biggest bitc.h in the entire world
and noone likes you
noone
how sad
but i dont feel sorry for you at all
you brought it on yourself
you are an awful, lying piece shi.t
the entire school hates you
your family is fuc.ked up
i mean eleven - seriously
that is disguisting
and your mum
oh my god
the stares
but you are the worst
lying, decieving, heartless bitc.h
she is already so affected at the moment
and you knew
and we spoke for a long time
and back in the room
BANG
you kill her with your words
you are awful.
so, so awful
beyond even my words
im glad she spoke to him
and i hope you get in a lot of trouble for it
because you deserve it
i hate you.
 
crush her windpipe and make her go for a run and get atshma and not have a puffer and die, and the world will be a happier place.
 
im glad we could talk last night
you arent yourself
and you are allowed to be different
events like this cause change in people
and i understand
even though i dont have one of my own
i could feel the connection
and i associated your house with him
youre right about the silence
it was terrifying.
and he was so overly happy
it was wierd
i can tell you are all trying to put on a brave face
and be selfless
but you do not bore me
and i am not crying because you are telling me whats wrong
i am crying because i loved him, i love you
and it hurts me to see you try to restrain yourself like that
everytime you shiver, i just want to take you away and hug you
because it scares me
you go all quiet and just shake
like you are having an episode
it is really really terrifying for me
and i want to be there all the time
but it is hard not to make a show
but just to stand next to you and squeeze your hand or something
maybe you would feel a tiny bit better
we all want to help
and i am always here
always
and dont try to spare my ears
because i want to know
i want for you to tell me everything you want to tell me
because you mean alot
and i want to know what is going on inside that tortured little head of yours
and it is okay to cry
i promise
and if it hurts you to see me crying when you tell me things
i will try to stop
but i really do want to know
it is important to me
 
i dont think i am over grampa yet
i didnt understand in year four
i was too young
i only remember dreaming about him
and remembering all the good things
because i didnt see him when he was bad
so i remember his smile
and his stories
and his middle finger
- sucked on
- fizzed off in coke
so many stories
i lova you grampa
wherever you are
 
all this is making me think about death
i am not really religious
but i guess i believe something happens when you die
i cant imagine there just being a body lying there dead
because i remember grampa didnt look like grampa
he was white, and not smiling, and he didn't have his glasses on
i guess because his soul was somewhere else?
i dont know what to believe.
 
im fourteen now
twenty seventh of august
it was kind of just an average day
i like that better
i dont really like being made a fuss of
it was embarassing getting sung to
and nice that you guys decorated my locker
but it didnt really feel like my birthday
it felt like just another day
that is fine with me
i like it that way,
 
i need to go shopping
i need new clothes,
desperately.
but i have no money unfortunately
that is annoying
i suppose i could ask for more, late birthday presents
but my parents have been so good to me lately
and i think dad has finally grasped the concept of me growing up
which means that i am not now a slu.tty bitc.h who just wants to make out with boys all the time
nor am i an organised adult with a job and kids
nor am i a six year old who is scared of boy germs and is learning how to read
no,
i am somewhere in between all of that
i am not sure what it is right now
but i am happy.
 
next year, though
that will be too different.
 
shes gone to europe
that is such a long way away
and six weeks is such a long time
and i miss her so much already
i didnt get a hug goodbye
i dont know where she went
that makes me sad
but i know she will be having the time of her life
and i love her
 
i am sorry about the netball thing
i spoke to her, and she said she didnt know about the dresses
i am playing down this week
and you are playing both
unless you are sick
then i will have to play both
but it scares me to see you upset
i didnt know if you were angry at me or not
and they really didnt tell us well enough
they should have asked me if i wanted to move up
because i was happy down
i dont know
i want to play up too though
but not if it will make you unhappy
you mean too much
 
you are the most annoying thing ever
i like it when we talk on the phone
and i like it when you hug me and pick me up and hold my hand
but that is all stuff friends do
friends
i think that is what i want
you are really really nice
but there just isnt that spark
that feeling, you know
friends.
 
i wonder what it is like being a boarder
i imagine you get a bit bored
but you are the nicest person ever
i love you
and we better be in the same french class next year
or else i will die
because you are amazing
 
and my little bus bud
wlaking home in the rain
hahaha, and we are chillers
i love you
 
i am kind of scared of drifting
people drifting, its a confusing concept
because you are so amazing
but occasionally i get the feeling you are separate
i am not sure if our groups are merging
i dont really know if that is what i want
but i am worried about drifting.
 
my parents are all good
but mother and my brothers are gone for the week
i hope dad will let me do stuff
he has really improved
i think he trusts me more now
and actually, i think he is kind of scared
that sounds silly
but i really enjoyed not eating
and i think he noticed
he is a bit scared of me messing up my life
and they are great parents
and they care so much for me
thank you
 
i dont like it when you pretend to be mean to me
youre not very good at it
but yeah
you are important too
we havent spoken in a few days
i dont know if you want to talk to me or not
because you seem kind of distant too
i am sorry
i wish i could hang up
 
i really like my hair at the moment
i dont know if i want it cut
because i like it long
but it is getting a bit dead endy
why does your hair have to look so nice
it is so unfair
why do you have to be so pretty
so perfect
it irritates me
but stop playing with it
i dont think it will look that good for long
you will ruin it with your bad straightening
and brushing
and it will be all gross again
good.
 
i am glad i did this play
met alot of amazing people
and got a lot closer to some amazing people i had already met
but i really want to go to perisher
and i feel like i've ruined it for father too
he looks forward to it so much
i am sorry.
 
i need to apologise for way too much stuff at the moment
i think i have done a lot of stuff wrong
i am not sleeping enough
its affecting my decisions
i am sorry.
 
there is something else going on
i can tell
because i normally feel so much better typing all my feelings into this little box
but there is something i cant quite put my finger on
like something is missing
there is definately something else wrong with me
but i can't put words to it
just this feeling
a globe in my stomach
and a tiny lump in my throat
or maybe thats just the flu
 
no, there is definately something else
i will figure it out.
 
i love you for reading all this
it makes me feel so much better
comment if you like
 
ex oh ex oh ex

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more feelings into boxes
great
 
im okay i think
you are amazing to d&m to
and you give good hugs
and thanks for picking me up
and sorry for screaming
"people will think i'm raping you"
hahahhahahha
and you helped her alot too
she said
'i just got the nicest text in the world from him, i love him'
and what i told on the phone was true
dammiiiitttt
i just want to be friends though
i think
but you are amazing
baby
and you promised we'd keep in contact
i hope we do
cause i love you
 
i really need to learn how to hang up the phone.
 
we are the makers of music, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
 
i truly do believe in magic.
 
and she is fine
i did something so wrong
i had no right to hear that
no right to listen
no right to know
i am sorry
 
screw you and your pretty haircut.
I HATE YOU
AND YOUR GUTS
and you dont know how much it hurts
and you dont understand
that was so low and inconsiderate
FU.CK YOU BITC.H
she was sooo angry
but i like angry better than sad i think
you are the most awful person i have ever met.
 
but somehow you made me not seem like such a bitc.h
you are meant to hate me
gosh
you have it all wrong
but something about it is right
 
and that car ride
amazing
people are babes
 
and watching you hide in boxes
but we only have two weeks left
i am kind of nervous
i wonder who i will keep in touch with
and worry
i worry alot these days
 
and i officially hate moodswings
HATE
although there is nothing wrong with me
i think there is something about you being so upset that made me cry
i actually bawled my eyes out
what a loser
you mean alot
and yeah
there must be some connection or something
because when you are sad, i am sad
and when you are happy, i am happy
 
and you are going to europe
enjoy girrl
it is going to be amazing
but everyone will miss you alot
 
and school sucks
i hate the tension
you shouldnt be angry at me really
but i guess its okay that you are
and dont try telling me youre not
cause if you werent, you wouldnt be sitting over there
i was fine in the lower team
and you two are so upset
this isnt fair
huff
why do i cause so many problems
this is stupid
and yep, i am a bit of a dog
yay
and its my birthday on friday
great.
 
but this really is not about me
its about you
and i know how hard this is
and how hard it is going to be
we will all miss him so much
so many memories
and i know its so hard to lose him
he means so much to everyone
but i will always remember being there
and how happy he was
being around people
he is amazing
and don't worry baby
he's going to heaven
and you are amazing
and so is everyone
and yeah
there really isnt much i can say
and you completely have the right to cry
because it is sad
and you do not need to hold anything in for our sake
we can handle it
and you mean so much
and yeah
we love you
break downs are fine
you deserve the right to do whatever you want right now
because you are a beautiful person
and i love you
and so does everyone
everyone.
you are so special
and this is hard
you dont have to come to school tomorrow
just know that everyone loves you
and we will miss him
alot
and i know this is hard
but all i can say is i love you
and yeah thats not just one of those things i say
its one of those things i mean
because you are special
i love you

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//requested.//
 

and so it begins
i type my feelings into little boxes
trying not to make the polyvore-bot cry
multiple issues will be covered here
you don't have to read all of it
but just avoid the confusion if you con't handle it
this is for me
but you are so appreciated
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1. my parents dont trust me anymore
they speak to the school to check up that i'm not bullying anyone
when i never did anything
none of us did
this is so unfair
i mean seriously, all those things
you made them up
and i must have a pretty mean unconsious glare because people seem to keep imagining it
which brings me to issue number two
 
2. i made out with your best friend
at a party
my first cool party
whooo
it didnt turn out so good
the music was kind of bad
and you thought i was angry at you
but i wasnt
i was simply coming to my senses
and you hadnt spoken to me for a week
i thought you liked her
so i went for it
she wanted me to
and so did she
i mostly did it for her
so her would get over her
but slightly to make her jealous
and slightly to pi.ss you off
and slightly just for fun
and yeah it was fun
i am such a slu.t
yay
and now he likes me
but i dont think it is as much as you
as true
you know?
i dont like him like that
not at all
but i couldnt pi.ss him off
we are really good friends
and he is actually good to talk to
about other stuff
not just how much he likes me
we have proper conversations
you are boring
and i want you to stop liking me
like NOW
and yeah
you're only making yourself miserable
and i actually cry over this
 
3. now you two are fighting over me
i wish you wouldnt
i am so not worth that
bros before ho.es right?
please dont do this
you're best friends.
i dont want to be responsible for that
cause you both are really important to me
just stoppit
and stop saying you'll hit him
it scares me
 
4. I WILL NOT KISS YOU.
 
5. why do i want to do things to him though
i imagined it at rehearsals on wednesday
why do i have to be so awkward.
grrr
 
6. I HATE PEER PRESSURE.
 
7. i am really worried about you
youre friends
please dont fight over a boy
she said she was over him
but i honestly don't know
you really like him
i get it
but be careful
please
i dont want either of you to get hurt
you mean alot
like ALOT.
just please be careful
but enjoy the pugs
aaannndd maybe a piss ;)
wheeeeeeeeewww
i love you.
 
8. i need to sleep at night
i really do
so just please
stop calling me
please
my mum didnt actually have my phone
i just needed to sleep
and i know youre scared on my parents
i'll use it to my advantage
yay
 
9. i can tell my grades are falling
i dont care anymore
for some reason there is no driving force to do well
probably because i hate that place
and i am dreading next year
dreading
nothing happens when youre not there
you were away for a week
and i nearly died
you make me so much happier
majorly dreading next year
but at least ill have the others
they are amazing
but it will be so different
i'm worried
 
10. me, myself and i
my skin is going cra.p
i am eating too much
not sleeping enough
i feel like shi.z inside
actual shi.z
why do i have to be so moody
goshlygoshness
i am seriously not right
i think i expect too much of myself
and i was so angry after aths
stupid blister
i promised myself i'd do well
and then that happened
how annoying.
 
11. and i know youre angry at me
something is up
youre my best friend
talk to me baby
please, i need to know whats wrong
 
12. that text scares me
i dont know who its from
and its not mean or anything
but i dont know how many people know
he said caz?
who is that
how does she have my number
this is terrifying
nah, not terrifying
just a bit wierd
caz? oh, wait
i know a caz
how do you know her?
odd...
 
13. she wants to start smoking
that is scary
what is this world coming to
 
14. and why are you so nice?
how come whenever we talk on faceebook i feel a bit better
i know
cause youre my friend
like an actual friend
who doesnt like me as anything more
and who i can have proper conversations with
and rant to
wow
aaannnddd youre funny
and you are so so nice
and i like your dancing
and hahaha nick
what a babe
you are amazing.
 
15. i am kind of pathetic.
i need a serious break from life right now
there is alot going on
and people are starting to get bored of me
but its okay
i love them so much
 
oh, and i am excited to see that email
if you are reading this, forward it to me now:)
 
thank god for people
like, outsiders who arent really involved
sebastiannn
and koober
and kirsten
and sandra
and mim
and tyrrell
and jacks
and tash
and pretty much anyone else who will listen
 
and that sister i never got to have
fe.ck meh loife
 
i loveechuuu
this is a good stress relief
but my back is still cramped
and i still have an enormous blister on my foot
but i guess this is kind of like therapy
there is alot going on right now
but thanks for reading, i love you
so much
 
and koo, i far.king love yous.
 
ex oh ex oh ex oh ex

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kyle xy is so deep
new favourite show :)
i lovee it alot
amazing
 
i am turning into you
straightening my hair
and eating oreos
hahah i am in love with you
that is very different from i love you.
 
other than her amazingness,
i am confused.
facebook is dangerous
peoples feelings can get hurt
and its too easy to hack people
i dont think that was louise.
i mean, i suppose you didnt do anything directly to hurt me
but you know about me and him
i know you do
and i think you are trying to make me jealous
i guess its working
i am simply confused to be honest
do people who are 'friends with benefits'
tell eachother 'i love you' all the time?
and how am i meant to respond to that anyway
i dont think i love you
you are very nice,
but you confuse me
and it worries me that she took that photo of you and her
(its not cool to take photos of yourself that way)
but she looks very pretty
dammit, why is she so pretty
and skinny
and perfect
and you like her eyes. "Look how big your eyes are haha ;)"
that winky face scares me.
but then again, i dont really care
you can be friends
i think
and you can see other girls
i just really really dislike her.
strongly.
but i suppose i could just be massively overreacting.
and i suppose she could have posted the photos of you and me
not that i wanted them to go up
(awks)
but then yeah, maybe, i wouldn't feel so jealous?
i hate being green
it makes me this paranoid little monster
urgh
i hate it
 
i ate icecream today
thats a better thing to do when im uspet
than not eating at all
much better
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
my fingers hurt
and i have a headache
and my calves are in so much pain
and yeah
my body aches
and i dont want to go to some stupid concert tomorrow
i hate that presby place
i hate the uniform
the rules
the focus on academic
it is slowly killing me
there are lots of really really nice people there though
and i know they'd be upset if i moved
and there is the small problem of my loving mother
but i honestly dislike it
OH WELL
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you make me laugh like a seal, spin on my chair, smile with my teeth, straighten my hair. just the thought of you can make me smile
~hahah i am so cool
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
i really like my hair straight
it makes me feel pretty
and i tried fake tan today
it was fun
and now i have nice, slightly tan legs
not orange
and not streaky
yay
but i stink
hahahha
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
i need new clothes
and i want to buy heels
they look fun, even though i can't walk in them
pretty legs
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
reality really does scare me.
more than imaginary things
because imaginary things go away.
this has been going on for too long
and i don't know if you realise what you does actually hurts people
but she has diary entries from september last year about how you tortured her with your wicked glare
and now i thuoght it had come to some sort of resolution
but i don't think it has
i can't forgive you for some reason
and i certainly can't forget.
regina george, you are not a good guy.
you are the bad guy in my fairytale.
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wow, this is getting kind of long
i have alot of feelings today
probably because i went to bed at 5:15 am
hahahah koo i love you
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
sarah tyrrell you are the most amazing person in the entire world. i love you so so so so so much
but i think everyone does
its hard not to love someone so loveable
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
amelia dawborn you are all round amazing. what a beautiful bus buddy, with the athleticism of superman
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
jacqui wymond
i hope you are okay, i feel like we havent spoken for a bit. odd, i love you sooooo much. and boys are wierd sometimes, dont let it bring you down you amazing girl
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
tash keep
you are hilarious
hilarious
and latin isnt so bad with you and jacks there :)
brondraceck is so wierd
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and then theres me
i know its wierd to do a dedication to myself
but i think itll help me sort some things out
i think you are prettier than you think you are
you look hot with your hair straightened, even if your nose is freaking fugly
you are good at sport
and moderately smart
and you have amazing friends
you are so, so lucky to have them
and i know you appreciate them
just its hard to do enough, and moodiness sometimes gets in the way
guy troubles will blow over
and she is a bit.ch
shell get bored of harassing you eventually
let it go
go for a run sometime this week
you need to clear your head
and by the way, i think you really are a good person inside
so yeah, don't be so negative
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
wow, that was deep and confusing.
it helped i think.
 
this is the longest polyvore thing ever
i hope my meaningless ramblings made a teeny tiny bit of sense
and you quenched your boredom reading about my crappy life
haha, i love you
so much
i really appreciate everything
and if you wanna talk, chat me
or pm, whatever
 
and if i know you in person
and you have anything to say to me
anything, i don't care
come say it
i dare you
 
thanks for reading,
sarah♥jayne
ex oh ex oh ex oh ex

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good day yesterday
rehearsals arent that boring,
and afterwards we went to camberwell.
tram ride with sandra
was good
awkward awful photos
hahaha
thanks for not posting them to our wall or anything
that would have been embarassing
sandra you are amazing
and then it started to rain
a lot
like a lot
and you offered me your jumper
i took it
it was big and grey and warm
and it smelt nice
i liked it
and so we looked for warmth
but there was a rope across that room in the cinema
you knew it was going to happen
and i guess i knew too
koo you are amazing
and i love you to bits and pieces.
we looked for someplace warm
but you two had a plan
a plan to split up
it was fun
we started off one way
then came back to try and see you two
you almost saw us
but we ducked off
that was when i kissed you on the cheek
four times
it was nice
and so we set off to find you two again
but got a bit bored
and sidetracked
we went into this grunge little bit
with a puddle
you called koo
and she told you
and you said youd lost the bet
but i pushed you into the puddle
and you picked me up like they do in old movies
and put me in
my shoes were wet
but i guess i didnt even care
and we ended up both walking through the puddle anyway
then we turned the corner
into this little bit
only about a metre wide
'you forgot my right cheek'
then you took me by surprise
i said i was scared
but you understood
and then it happened
i cant remember really
but you are amazing
and no, it wasn't that scary.
we came back
and dad drove past
we ran
but i forgot about your jacket
so i ran back
your hug hurt my boobs
hahahahaha
friends with benefits
and i got my phone back
that guy was really nice
and as far as i know
mother and father are out of the loop
but i suppose it will get around eventually
ill tell them eventually
friends with benefits
but i dont know about that
lucy doesnt think so
and yes, i love you lucy
you are the most amazing person ive ever met
and katherine
you are so beautiful
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
and callum
is good to talk to
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
and tyrrell
is all round amazing
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
and mim
happy now?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
and jacks
i love you girl
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
and tash
you give good hugs
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
and you
i love you
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
 
mwah and twist, mwah mwah and twist.
yeah right
 
thanks for reading
ex oh ex oh ex oh ex oh ex oh ex